Paying Respects To My Grandmother

It has been ages since I last pay respects to my late grandmother who passed away 11 years ago on this day. I was supposed to go for Chinese opera rehearsal in the morning, but I decided to skip that, as I don't want my mother to be upset for not going to the temple with her, since it happens to be a public holiday today. Anyway, my mother kept mumbling yesterday that my grandmother was very fortunate because I, being her most favourite grandson among all, is finally able to visit her on her death anniversary

Actually to say that my grandmother is fortunate, it isn't entirely true. I'd say she's the fortunate among the unfortunate. Why would I say that? Because out of her three sons, none of them pay their respects to her on this day. My eldest uncle had passed away years back, and his children, whom he lost contact with after he and his wife were divorced, only regard my grandmother as a distant relative. Or so I believed. My second uncle only visited her grave during the Qing Ming festival, and my third uncle, also a divorcee and currently uemployed, can't even save himself now, let alone remembering his mother's anniversary. He has got 2 children, but they were Christians who refused to even step into any temple. On the contrary, only my mother, her daughter, made efforts to remember all these, and hence has got people to visit her

We went to this small quiet temple in Geylang where my grandparents' tablets were placed at around 11am. The sky looked gloomy, and I was worried that it would rain, as like yesterday and the day before. Immediately after we reached the temple, my mum starts to unpack all the offerings on the altar. It was quite a spread: curry chicken, roasted duck, fried fish and tau kwa, chestnut soup with pork ribs and a packet of wa goh kueh (a kind cake-like pastry). My parents had started preparing them very early this morning, and although we could jolly well buy them from outside, my mum insisted we cook it ourselves, even if at the end of the day the amount of food is too much for us to consume in a day

After offering our incense, my mother asked me to throw the wooden blocks to see if my grandmother has already "arrived" to have her food. The wooden blocks gave a affirmative answer, and my mother was happy. She said that in previous years she had to repeat the action a few times before a "yes" answer was given. She concluded that my grandmother was happy to "see" me

We stayed around the temple for quite a while, as the incense paper has to be burnt first, and for us to do that, the joss sticks must be at least half-way burnt. When the time was almost up, my mother threw the woodlen blocks to seek "permission" for us to go burn the incense paper, and the reply my grandmother "gave" was negative. My mother then got me to ask instead, and this time, the reply was a "yes"! My mother then said happily that my grandmother really doted me and hence agreed to all my requests. I'm not a taoist, and do not really believe in that logic, but somehow I still hope what my mother said is true. I still quite miss my grandmother

At this time, the rain started to fall again. What bad luck! The incense burning chamber was at the courtyard of the temple and in unsheltered. My father and I had to rush to the chamber and do our job fast. After the incense paper burning were done with, my mother had finished packing up the offerings. We stow the offerings basket into the car and headed back home

Now I am satisfied, because I've sort of "compensated" for not being to stay at home often enough. I can see that my mother is pleased too, though she's still unhappy that I'd have to go for Chinese opera rehearsals again in the afternoon. Earlier on I've prayed for my parents being more understanding of my tight rehearsal schedules, and hopefully, my grandmother will be able to "persuade" my mother in her dreams!